A Thrill of Hope

Happy December! Hope this finds you doing well and enjoying the anticipation of Christmas and hope for a new year! We are alive...and thankful for every day!

Matt helped the children make a snowman with the snow we got at the end of October!

Joanna woke up one morning thrilled to see the "PINK" sky God made for her!

Another day of cider pressing- this time mostly pear cider!

We made about five and a half gallons...our experimental pear cider tasted much the same as apple cider, but with the pear flavor that one might expect to find.

We enjoyed a couple more family wiener roasts, a tradition from quarantine that we resurrected this fall.

My sweet boys (they were stumped...)

November 3rd was election day. I printed off some ballots and we had our own election at home. Donald Trump tied for State Representative as a write-in, and Joe Biden got a write-in vote for county auditor but didn't quite earn the title. Then the boys had to pose with their "I Voted" stickers.

One beautiful day, the boys and I turned the bathroom window into an ice cream shop. They always like to play "Sprats" and were thrilled to use real ice cream! 

She moust-ache many questions...!

One Sunday afternoon, Matt's Dad took us out on the new highway that is being built and the boys got to drive bikes on it! And I couldn't help but be impressed with the beautiful skies that day!

Four Schulz generations of Myrons and Duanes: Myron, Gary Duane, Matthew Myron, and Keenan Duane.

Hats off to Micah!

Going mountain climbing in the garden.

Daddy's boy!

Our 2020 Vision went haywire...

Around the first weekend of November, my postpartum hormones started catching up with me. My mood went from great to bad in a matter of a week and I started experiencing postpartum depression. I have struggled with mild/moderate postpartum depression in the past with my other babies, but this time it kept getting worse, and then started turning into anxiety that became more severe as time went on. A week and a half before Thanksgiving, the anxiety turned into mania and I started getting more excited and emotional; I had trouble falling asleep at night, and eventually was only sleeping 1-2 hours per night and never feeling tired. Fortunately, I recognized the mental breakdown coming on and had been putting bugs in people's ears that things weren't right. So our parents were looking out for me, taking my kids for the afternoons (and eventually whole days), and more and more people were starting to pray for me. I could feel the prayers at work because God gained control, taught me how to expose my anxieties to others so Satan would lose his grip, and turned the entire experience into a spiritual awakening for me.

The Saturday afternoon before Thanksgiving, I ended up at my parents' house; I had been having out of body experiences and I was an emotional mess. I agreed to go to the hospital for treatment. In order to get started on medicine as soon as possible, I had to be admitted to behavioral health for several days. Because of covid restrictions, I had to go alone without visitors, and even my nursing baby couldn't come. Don't get me started on the oxymoron of not allowing visitors in a mental health unit! I couldn't have my phone, either, nor could I have any of my belongings besides my clothes. I was allowed to talk on a phone in the commons area, so I did call Matt a couple times a day. I spent much of the days praying and singing hymns to keep myself company, and also enjoyed getting to know several other patients in the unit. Behavioral health seems to be the darkest, loneliest place, but it was a blessing to be able to relate to others, and I hope I was able to shed a spark of light in their lives as well. 

My last moments with Matt before getting admitted!

The doctor started my medicine on Monday night and kept me at the hospital until Thursday morning when they seemed to have me on the right dosage and I was starting to calm down. It was Thanksgiving Day that I was discharged, and the most joyous Thanksgiving of my life - to see my husband, baby, and family, eat delicious home cooked meals, and enjoy God's beautiful earth again (I could only see the sky through the window in my hospital room so I kind of forgot what the world looked like)! I still had a lot of progress to make before I was my normal self again, but each day brought significant progress, and three weeks later I am still noticing improvement every day as my medicine helps my brain find a new "normal" again. All of my labs and tests came back clear, so my medical diagnosis is bipolar disorder, likely onset by postpartum hormones. I am seeing a mental health doctor and trying to get into counseling.

On the home front, my parents kept Keenan at night and Matt's parents kept the three older children. When I came home from the hospital, Keenan came home with us while the other three children continued their routine with the grandparents. We got to visit them in the evenings for supper. Matt took two weeks off work to help me out, and last week the children all came home to stay with us and return to a more "normal" routine. This week, different people have been taking the three older children in the afternoons so I can rest and have some downtime because I still get worn out easily. We have been blessed with so many meals that I have not had to worry about cooking! 

Thank you to everyone who has been prayerful and supportive during this time, it means so much and God has been working. A very notable work of the Lord has been my generally positive attitude and coping skills during the experience. 

Keenan turned three months old while I was in the hospital, so we were a few days late with our photo! He is getting so giggly and fun and LOVES music! He got pretty attached to Grandma Massner while I was away, so the first week after I came home was kind of an adjustment.

Our last night of rotating dinners to see the children landed on Shelby's 14th birthday! 

It is so good to have the children here at night again! Levi said this was the "matching boy sleepover" and "pink-pink."

My little angel!

We hope all of you are doing well and wish you all a blessed Christmas! I am thankful for Christmas to  ensure the year ends on a beautiful note that the world cannot take away: our Saviour and Lord, Jesus Christ! "A thrill of HOPE, the weary world REJOICES!"

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive its king;

let every heart prepare him room,

and heaven and nature sing,

and heaven and nature sing,

and heaven, and heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!

Let all their songs employ

while fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains,

repeat the sounding joy,

repeat the sounding joy,

repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

nor thorns infest the ground.

He comes to make his blessings flow

far as the curse is found,

far as the curse is found,

far as, far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,

and makes the nations prove

the glories of his righteousness,

and wonders of his love,

and wonders of his love,

and wonders, wonders of his love.

October

Happy Fall! 

Trying to keep up with four little ones makes the time goes by so quickly. There is very little downtime around here anymore! And all I've got to show for my efforts are four beautiful children. :) That is, assuming beauty isn't affected by whether their hands and faces have been properly washed in the past two weeks.

But there is life and energy to go around, let me tell you.

Keenan at one month old (a month ago)

All the kiddos at the same age. 

Mom had a couple outfits of my dad's so we tried them on Keenan...we learned that this one was knitted by a Gehring relative in Switzerland!

Another 53 year old outfit...this one was a little tight so he wasn't quite as fond of it. :)

Micah put Keenan to sleep and was so proud of himself! 

Keenan and Russell, the 2020 Massner babies.

How did Matt the project guy spend the last days of fall? Landscaping, honey extracting, and cider pressing.

He ordered the boys some bee suits so they could help him out.

One of his coworkers came over one Friday evening to help extract the honey!

We ended up with about five quarts of fresh honey! Now he is getting the bees all filled up on sugar water to get them through the winter.

Andrew and Matt got out their new and improved cider press and made about five gallons of cider! We still have more apples to press if we ever find the time.

This boy did such an impressive job of coloring inside the lines, I couldn't help but take a picture.

One more way in which two brothers can be complete opposites...one colors inside the lines with one color, and the other boy makes a very colorful picture totally unaware of the lines! 

Did some fishing with Daddy

Had a nice hot day for swimming at the beginning of September! 

Mommy and Joanna were matching for church one night! 

Uncle Johnny brought Joanna (and me and the rest of the kids) out to Brian and Cindy's to meet her newborn namesake, Joanna the calf. She was pretty excited until she actually got into the pen with the calf. Then it was pretty terrifying! A couple summers ago, Jonathan had helped them out so they had named a cow Johnna after him. Johnna had a calf this fall so he chose Joanna for the name. 

Our kids are so terrified of real live animals! Here they are petting the bottle calves...ha. Nope, I don't think any of them ever worked up the courage to touch a calf.

Johnna and Joanna

My mom was getting rid of some big rolls of poster paper so we've been having fun with it.

About time we get Daddy's downstairs office decorated!

Levi was in charge of breakfast one week. This was one of his concoctions.

This is how we do date night these days... :) Someone brought us pizza for a baby meal and we had just gotten this old children's table from Grandpa Schulz!

My one canning expedition of the year...applesauce! I forgot there was a lid shortage right now so I had to freeze the rest. Hopefully this will last us a year because last time we ran out in March.

Using up some more apples with an apple crisp...sugar free of course. :) Turned out pretty good!

His favorite way to sit on the couch.

So sweet...Levi put his brother to sleep reading to him. :)

The first full week of October, Matt had to be gone for work. Keenan, Joanna, and I had coughs so the appointments we had scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday got cancelled and I instead got tested for Covid just to rule it out before going on with our week. Tuesday evening, we learned Matt's Grandma Marie Knobloch had passed away in Lester. She had been in the hospital battling Covid, and we were very thankful her family was allowed to be with her in her last hours.

In desperation, I took all the kids with me to town Wednesday evening to get groceries. It was a disaster of course, but I hadn't gotten groceries for a month and still had pending Covid results so I couldn't get a babysitter (it came back negative when I got to town). The next day the kids and I left for Lester around noon. We picked up Matt in Altoona and arrived at Uncle Lance and Aunt Kristi's around 9:30pm. We weren't able to attend the evening visitation, but were very blessed to be there for the funeral. We are thankful for Grandma's sweet example and that she is living in Heaven with Jesus now.

When we picked up Matt we made a pit stop at Bass Pro Shops.

We arrived home around 9:30pm on Friday night. Saturday, we got ready to host Burlington church for a wiener roast. Covid made its round through several families that week, so between the people who were sick and those who were quarantined due to exposure, there ended up being only 30 people at our wiener roast. It was a nice sized group and a good evening of fellowship as we don't get to spend much time with our church family outside of church these days.

Handsome little guy all ready for church!

Levi's first day of preschool with Aunt Timna! She does a weekly preschool for the church kids. He missed the first day because of the coughs we all had, but he was SO excited to go the next week and he had a great time!

Our seventh anniversary was Tuesday! Last Friday, Matt and I got away for an afternoon and went out to eat in Columbus Junction and visited the swinging bridge park there. It was beautiful, as the scenery always is around the time of our anniversary! Afterward we went on a scenic drive for a couple hours with Keenan in the back seat...

...and found a few local gorillas. 

It was supposed to frost last Sunday night so Matt worked on getting the garden and yard ready for winter. Our garden didn't get much love this year so we were left with enough veggies for a nice bowl of fresh salsa and a few meals' worth of sweet potatoes! The yellow summer squash was the only thing that was a big producer this year. It obviously does not require any maintenance. We are ready to be done eating yellow squash.

My newest food pet is milk kefir! I ordered some grains and they arrived this week! It is fun to figure out new things in the kitchen. Kefir is SO good for you and this should be much cheaper and healthier than the store bought kefir! I can see I am going to have kefir coming out my ears soon.

This was a crisis. The baby swing broke Monday night so Matt spent Monday night and Tuesday morning getting it fixed. I didn't realize how much Keenan's happiness depended on his swing until it broke! Eeek! I have the most impressive husband who can fix ANYTHING!

The kids came upstairs all dressed up after lessons this week! Piano lessons have started up again since my baby break. Between preschool on Tuesday, lessons on Wednesdays, and doctor's appointments the past few Thursdays, our weekly schedules have been filling up. 

Two happy brothers:)

Little guy was 2 months old yesterday! We love his smiles and coos as he becomes more aware of everything going on around him. He is sleeping 5-7 hour stretches at night and is generally content during the day, but it goes in spurts. His favorite place to be is in his swing!

As I said at the beginning, we are very busy managing this growing household. I can hardly keep up and sometimes lose my mind, but if there's one thing my husband has taught me over the past seven years, it is his most common quote:

It'll be fine.

It isn't always what I want to hear, but it is always true. We take one day at a time and know God will provide grace as we need it! :)