Foster Care

We have begun our training and certification process to become foster parents. People have been interested in hearing about how this new adventure came to be, so I will try to share in a semi-condensed way.

Foster care is something that has been on our hearts since before we had children. We then had three back-to-back pregnancies and didn't have the time to commit to the classes until now. We only know a couple families who foster and we do not have much experience with the system, so it is pretty unfamiliar territory to us.

This summer, the topic of adoption came up between the two of us. Welcoming other children into our home and family has long been a calling of mine. We both decided this probably wasn't a good time, even if it was something we might like to do someday.

Toward the beginning of September, we had a few different conversations with people where adoption came up. One story that really hit home was one of a family who found out they were expecting another child just a week after adopting a baby. One Sunday I felt the Spirit speaking and placing the burden on my heart to pray about moving forward with something in this direction. I prayed some more and then talked to Matt. After more prayer, scripture searching, and research, we felt like God was directing us in the direction of foster care.

To be honest, foster care always sounded (and still sounds) scary to us - this decision was difficult because we wanted to be wise about how this was going to affect our children. It could be harmful to them if we aren't careful. At the same time, we are beginning to consider the other side- that this is a huge opportunity for spiritual growth in our children as they will learn to appreciate the blessings God has given them and experience the joy of serving others and living out the gospel for others. But, yes, we have our share of fears. A scripture that really spoke to me was one that was equally comforting when I had my proposal six years ago and was very fearful about what lay ahead:

I John 4:4, 7-8, 11-13, 16-21

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 

We love him, because he first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

God continued to provide his reassurance to us by revealing to us through the scriptures that it is His will for us to serve Him by serving others. This one was especially meaningful:

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:34-40

The Process: We submitted an inquiry online for more information and then moved forward through an online orientation, an initial stack of paperwork, and signing up for classes. We also started getting our house ready to meet safety specs for foster care. The biggest project was installing the egress windows, but we also have been working on a lot of other little things, like locking up our guns and  ammo, door alarms (because we have an unfenced pond), etc. And then we got another stack of paperwork. And then another at our first class. I think the worst of the paperwork is over as far as this initial class/home study goes. The TIPS-MAPP training class is on Monday nights in Burlington for ten weeks. Our home study will also take place during the next few months.

After two weeks of class, I am feeling more of the weight of this undertaking. We knew we were going into this rather clueless. While we still feel peaceful about this being what God is calling us to do, I am also realizing that we are inviting a lot of grief, loss, and vulnerability into our hearts. We cannot reach out to brokenness without being broken ourselves. It would be easy to stop at any time and crawl back into our comfortable, predictable lives...but we know we will miss out on much spiritual growth and other blessings if we don't go forward in faith.

Our hearts have always ached for children in broken families and poor home environments. We both love children, and we have been given so many blessings in our lives: a stable home, marriage, and family; good health, a wonderful support system, a close church family, all of the material goods we need, a large home; and - most of all - a hope we have found in Christ. God doesn't glorify the comfortable life; He calls us to love Him by serving those in need. We are humbled and thankful for this opportunity.

We don't really know what lies ahead for us. The break in having children provided a good opportunity to get certified, but we will be prayerful about when and who God wants us to foster. Perhaps we will only be available for respite care if we become pregnant again or the time isn't right. Maybe short-term, maybe long-term, maybe a child who ends up becoming a permanent part of our family. Maybe God is just using this step to bring us to something greater. We really don't know. Hopefully our lack of a plan of our own will be a good thing. :)

Most of all, we ask for all of your support and prayers for wisdom. It will be a big undertaking for us, but we also know that our potential foster children will need the support and loving arms of all of our family and friends. So thank you all for your support.

Anyone with foster care experience who has wisdom to share, please reach out to us!

Have a blessed week!