A Thrill of Hope

Happy December! Hope this finds you doing well and enjoying the anticipation of Christmas and hope for a new year! We are alive...and thankful for every day!

Matt helped the children make a snowman with the snow we got at the end of October!

Joanna woke up one morning thrilled to see the "PINK" sky God made for her!

Another day of cider pressing- this time mostly pear cider!

We made about five and a half gallons...our experimental pear cider tasted much the same as apple cider, but with the pear flavor that one might expect to find.

We enjoyed a couple more family wiener roasts, a tradition from quarantine that we resurrected this fall.

My sweet boys (they were stumped...)

November 3rd was election day. I printed off some ballots and we had our own election at home. Donald Trump tied for State Representative as a write-in, and Joe Biden got a write-in vote for county auditor but didn't quite earn the title. Then the boys had to pose with their "I Voted" stickers.

One beautiful day, the boys and I turned the bathroom window into an ice cream shop. They always like to play "Sprats" and were thrilled to use real ice cream! 

She moust-ache many questions...!

One Sunday afternoon, Matt's Dad took us out on the new highway that is being built and the boys got to drive bikes on it! And I couldn't help but be impressed with the beautiful skies that day!

Four Schulz generations of Myrons and Duanes: Myron, Gary Duane, Matthew Myron, and Keenan Duane.

Hats off to Micah!

Going mountain climbing in the garden.

Daddy's boy!

Our 2020 Vision went haywire...

Around the first weekend of November, my postpartum hormones started catching up with me. My mood went from great to bad in a matter of a week and I started experiencing postpartum depression. I have struggled with mild/moderate postpartum depression in the past with my other babies, but this time it kept getting worse, and then started turning into anxiety that became more severe as time went on. A week and a half before Thanksgiving, the anxiety turned into mania and I started getting more excited and emotional; I had trouble falling asleep at night, and eventually was only sleeping 1-2 hours per night and never feeling tired. Fortunately, I recognized the mental breakdown coming on and had been putting bugs in people's ears that things weren't right. So our parents were looking out for me, taking my kids for the afternoons (and eventually whole days), and more and more people were starting to pray for me. I could feel the prayers at work because God gained control, taught me how to expose my anxieties to others so Satan would lose his grip, and turned the entire experience into a spiritual awakening for me.

The Saturday afternoon before Thanksgiving, I ended up at my parents' house; I had been having out of body experiences and I was an emotional mess. I agreed to go to the hospital for treatment. In order to get started on medicine as soon as possible, I had to be admitted to behavioral health for several days. Because of covid restrictions, I had to go alone without visitors, and even my nursing baby couldn't come. Don't get me started on the oxymoron of not allowing visitors in a mental health unit! I couldn't have my phone, either, nor could I have any of my belongings besides my clothes. I was allowed to talk on a phone in the commons area, so I did call Matt a couple times a day. I spent much of the days praying and singing hymns to keep myself company, and also enjoyed getting to know several other patients in the unit. Behavioral health seems to be the darkest, loneliest place, but it was a blessing to be able to relate to others, and I hope I was able to shed a spark of light in their lives as well. 

My last moments with Matt before getting admitted!

The doctor started my medicine on Monday night and kept me at the hospital until Thursday morning when they seemed to have me on the right dosage and I was starting to calm down. It was Thanksgiving Day that I was discharged, and the most joyous Thanksgiving of my life - to see my husband, baby, and family, eat delicious home cooked meals, and enjoy God's beautiful earth again (I could only see the sky through the window in my hospital room so I kind of forgot what the world looked like)! I still had a lot of progress to make before I was my normal self again, but each day brought significant progress, and three weeks later I am still noticing improvement every day as my medicine helps my brain find a new "normal" again. All of my labs and tests came back clear, so my medical diagnosis is bipolar disorder, likely onset by postpartum hormones. I am seeing a mental health doctor and trying to get into counseling.

On the home front, my parents kept Keenan at night and Matt's parents kept the three older children. When I came home from the hospital, Keenan came home with us while the other three children continued their routine with the grandparents. We got to visit them in the evenings for supper. Matt took two weeks off work to help me out, and last week the children all came home to stay with us and return to a more "normal" routine. This week, different people have been taking the three older children in the afternoons so I can rest and have some downtime because I still get worn out easily. We have been blessed with so many meals that I have not had to worry about cooking! 

Thank you to everyone who has been prayerful and supportive during this time, it means so much and God has been working. A very notable work of the Lord has been my generally positive attitude and coping skills during the experience. 

Keenan turned three months old while I was in the hospital, so we were a few days late with our photo! He is getting so giggly and fun and LOVES music! He got pretty attached to Grandma Massner while I was away, so the first week after I came home was kind of an adjustment.

Our last night of rotating dinners to see the children landed on Shelby's 14th birthday! 

It is so good to have the children here at night again! Levi said this was the "matching boy sleepover" and "pink-pink."

My little angel!

We hope all of you are doing well and wish you all a blessed Christmas! I am thankful for Christmas to  ensure the year ends on a beautiful note that the world cannot take away: our Saviour and Lord, Jesus Christ! "A thrill of HOPE, the weary world REJOICES!"

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive its king;

let every heart prepare him room,

and heaven and nature sing,

and heaven and nature sing,

and heaven, and heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!

Let all their songs employ

while fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains,

repeat the sounding joy,

repeat the sounding joy,

repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

nor thorns infest the ground.

He comes to make his blessings flow

far as the curse is found,

far as the curse is found,

far as, far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,

and makes the nations prove

the glories of his righteousness,

and wonders of his love,

and wonders of his love,

and wonders, wonders of his love.